"Finding James"

"Finding James" | By Gabriel Tellez

Mr. Mojo risin'.

Ray and James met again by coincidence around mid-July 1965 on Venice Beach, right down from Fraser Avenue, where Ray and his girl, Dorothy, lived. James skipped his UCLA graduation and told Ray he was planning to go to New York. However, in the last few months, James had been residing at a friend's rooftop at Speedway St., where he was getting high and writing songs extensively from a concert he kept hearing in his head while looking at the sea.

Ray asked him to sing some of his songs; James hesitated; Ray listened, and then Ray proposed to form a Rock & Roll band - "that's what I want to do!" said James. So he moved into the Fraser Av. apartment, and they started work on James' singing while Dorothy was working to support them. Ray had no keyboard at home, so part of the routine was to travel to UCLA's rehearsal rooms in the basement of the Schoenberg Music Hall to work on the songs written on Venice's rooftop.

Ray said on that beach: "There's only one problem; what do we call the band?"; "The Doors", James answered; "is that about The Doors of Perception book by Huxley?" asked Ray; "yes!" replied James.

Ray invites someone from his meditation class to jam with them on the drums- John. The latter brings his long-time friend Robby to play the guitar, which has been playing the electric guitar for a short time. The traditional guitar is his specialty, particularly flamenco.

The rest is history.

The Doors' music was unique, addressing controversial topics such as sex, drugs, and social justice issues while exploring themes of rebellion, freedom, and self-discovery. The band's popularity grew during great social and political turmoil in the USA and the world as the counterculture movement emerged, challenging mainstream values and norms.

After recording their final album (L.A. Woman) with The Doors, James decided to travel to Europe. The possible reasons for his departure may have been his conviction for "indecent exposure" at a Miami concert, The Doors' concert cancellations, and the desire to get clean. Unfortunately, after several months of alcohol & drug abuse, his girlfriend, Pamela Courson, discovered him dead in his apartment's bathtub. James passed away on July 3rd, 1971, at the young age of 27, with heart failure listed as the cause of death. During his last days, he resided in the city of his literary heroes, and it's known that he enjoyed visiting Père Lachaise, where he frequently paid his respects to the graves of Molière, Wilde, and other notable figures he admired.

James, Ray, John, and Robby were considered (Jim Ladd, 2002) "highly-educated, well-read, smart people" who recorded six studio albums and became one of the most controversial yet more influential rock bands of the 1960s. 

Their music sounded -and keeps sounding- like no one else's.

Strange days found us.

After recovering from a suicide attempt in 1991, my brother became a rebel and a bigger fan of The Doors' music - probably because in March of that year, The Doors movie by Oliver Stone was released. Even though it received critics for its historical inaccuracy, including how James was portrayed, many people think the film brought back The Doors and Jim Morrison into popular culture. Including also going against the established authority & rules - in my brother's case: high school & my dad's. 

Suddenly my brother was constantly listening to "Light My Fire", "Roadhouse Blues", or "Touch Me", wearing my dad's Ray-Ban shades and his leather jacket and showing erratic behavior that my parents didn't have any experience with how to deal with. Those were strange days for us, and especially for me as his youngest and closest sibling. Essentially, he was going through adolescence with a mix of bipolar disorder on the horizon.

Back in the day of 1991, if you cranked up the radio, you'd catch the likes of Freddie Mercury belting out with Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody", Kurt Cobain's raw vocals from Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit", Metallica's shredding guitars in "Enter Sandman", Michael Stipe's haunting melodies in R.E.M.'s "Losing My Religion", and Axl Rose's raspy screams in Guns N' Roses' "November Rain".

That same year, the Gulf War had just wrapped up, with many glued to their television sets watching the intense live coverage. Meanwhile, Mexico, the USA, and Canada were in the early stages of NAFTA talks, laying the groundwork for increased trade and economic cooperation. But it wasn't all heavy news - in May of that year, history was made when a Mexican beauty queen was crowned Miss Universe for the first time. 

Still, one place to go.

Eventually, my brother recovered and joined the local gym, where he discovered Arnold Schwarzenegger (as a bodybuilder), making him his new idol. After being stable for several years and graduating in Economics in 2000, he gained independence from my parents. Then, however, he went into a manic episode while working at his first job, requiring immediate hospitalization. Unknown to us, this condition was called manic-depression, and in the early 2000s, my brother was finally diagnosed with bipolar I disorder. 

Despite this setback, he earned an MBA and later became a personal trainer, earning a Bachelor's in Physical Education in 2017. With time, my brother acknowledged that he had a disorder but thought he'd be able to fight it without medication - this was wrong. A few months after my mom died, he went into a profound depression, and suddenly, in April 2018, he went into a manic episode. However, he developed psychosis this time, resulting in a nasty beating by angry people on the street and a five-day disappearance. Thanks to the missing person's bulletin on Facebook, we were very fortunate to find him and bring him back to reality. 

Bipolar disorder usually emerges in late adolescence (teen years) or early adulthood, with symptoms varying over the years, requiring constant family support, therapy, and a prescribed lifelong treatment plan to improve the quality of life and manage the symptoms. However, the disorder is degenerative and ultimately attacks the patient's cognitive abilities. 

Since the 1990s, The Doors' music, along with my brother's bipolar disorder, has constantly been in my life. So in 2022, while scrapbooking my brother's suicide attempt from 32 years ago, I started to read into the band's history, only to discover that we live 6.6 miles away from where everything started. This sparked a new quest to find James, which involved using my dad's Yashica FX-1 1970s camera and shooting primarily in B&W film.

The photos & text presented here are a glimpse at my "Finding James" quest, which, at the same time, represents an attempt to understand things I wasn't aware of when I was eight, and my brother was fifteen. 

I'll finish this with an extract from Rolling Stone magazine from April 4th, 1991: 

"The Doors' lead singer - who only two years before had been one of rock's smartest, scariest, and sexiest heroes - was now a heart-rendering alcoholic and clownish jerk. He needed help; he did not merit cheap veneration, and he certainly did not deserve the horrid, moralistic brand of jail-house punishment that the state of Florida hoped to impose on him. Of course, Morrison never received - or at least never accepted - the help that might have saved him."

This photo essay is dedicated to my brother Roberto and his challenging yet rewarding life.

...Strange days have found us
Strange days have tracked us down
They're going to destroy 
Our casual joys
We shall go on playing 
Or find a new town...

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BIO

Gabriel Tellez is a software engineer and a photographer drawn to architecture, engineering, and history. Gabriel, his wife, and one boy reside in Playa del Rey, CA.

Instagram: @gabtyz / Website: koken.gabrieltellez.mx

"Buscando a James"

"Buscando a James" | Por Gabriel Téllez

 
Mr. Mojo risin'.

Ray y James se volvieron a encontrar por casualidad a mediados de julio de 1965 en Venice Beach, justo al final de Fraser Avenue, donde vivían Ray y su novia, Dorothy. James se saltó la graduación de UCLA y le dijo a Ray que planeaba ir a Nueva York. Sin embargo, en los últimos meses, James había estado viviendo en la azotea de un amigo en Speedway St., donde se drogaba y escribía muchas canciones de un concierto que escuchaba en su cabeza mientras miraba el mar.

Ray le pidió que cantara algunas de sus canciones; James vaciló; Ray escuchó, y luego Ray propuso formar una banda de Rock & Roll - "¡eso es lo que quiero hacer!" dijo James. Así que se mudó al apartamento de Fraser Av., y comenzaron a trabajar en el canto de James mientras Dorothy trabajaba para apoyarlos. Ray no tenía teclado en casa, así que parte de la rutina era viajar a las salas de ensayo de UCLA en el sótano del Schoenberg Music Hall para trabajar en las canciones escritas en la azotea de Venice.

Ray dijo en esa playa: "Solo hay un problema, ¿cómo llamamos a la banda?"; "The Doors", respondió James; "¿Se trata del libro Las puertas de la percepción de Huxley?" preguntó Ray; "¡Sí!" respondió James.

Ray invita a alguien de su clase de meditación a improvisar con ellos en la batería: John. Este último trae a su viejo amigo Robby para tocar la guitarra, que ha estado tocando la guitarra eléctrica por poco tiempo. La guitarra tradicional es su especialidad, especialmente la flamenca.

El resto es historia.

La música de The Doors fue única, abordando temas controvertidos como el sexo, las drogas y la justicia social mientras exploraba temas de rebelión, libertad y autodescubrimiento. La popularidad de la banda creció durante una gran agitación social y política en los EE. UU. y el mundo a medida que surgía el movimiento de la contracultura, que desafiaba los valores y las normas dominantes.

Después de grabar su último álbum (L.A. Woman) con The Doors, James decidió viajar a Europa. Las posibles razones de su partida pueden haber sido su condena por "exhibición indecente" en un concierto de Miami, las cancelaciones de conciertos de The Doors y el deseo de “mantenerse limpio”. Desafortunadamente, después de varios meses de abuso de alcohol y drogas, su novia, Pamela Courson, lo descubrió muerto en la bañera de su apartamento. James falleció el 3 de julio de 1971, a la temprana edad de 27 años, y la causa de la muerte fue una insuficiencia cardíaca. Durante sus últimos días, residió en la ciudad de sus héroes literarios, y se sabe que disfrutaba visitando Père Lachaise, donde frecuentemente presentaba sus respetos a las tumbas de Molière, Wilde y otras figuras notables que admiraba.

James, Ray, John y Robby fueron considerados (Jim Ladd, 2002) "personas muy educadas, cultas e inteligentes" que grabaron seis álbumes de estudio y se convirtieron en una de las bandas de rock más controvertidas pero influyentes de la década de los 60s.

Su música sonaba -y sigue sonando- como la de nadie más.

Strange days found us.

Después de recuperarse de un intento de suicidio en 1991, mi hermano se volvió rebelde y un gran fanático de la música de The Doors, probablemente porque en marzo de ese año se estrenó la película The Doors de Oliver Stone. A pesar de que recibió críticas por su inexactitud histórica, incluida la forma en que se retrató a James, muchas personas piensan que la película trajo de vuelta a The Doors y Jim Morrison a la cultura popular. Incluyendo también ir en contra de la autoridad y las reglas establecidas, en el caso de mi hermano: la preparatoria y mi papá.

De repente, mi hermano escuchaba constantemente "Light My Fire", "Roadhouse Blues" o "Touch Me", usaba las gafas Ray-Ban de mi papá y su chamarra de cuero y mostraba un comportamiento errático que mis papás no tenían experiencia en como manejar. Esos fueron días extraños para nosotros, y especialmente para mí como su hermano menor y más cercano. Esencialmente, estaba pasando por la adolescencia con una mezcla de trastorno bipolar en el horizonte.

En 1991, si encendías la radio, escuchabas a Freddie Mercury cantando a todo pulmón "Bohemian Rhapsody" de Queen, la voz áspera de Kurt Cobain cantando "Smells Like Teen Spirit" de Nirvana, las guitarras trituradoras de Metallica en " Enter Sandman", las inquietantes melodías de Michael Stipe en "Losing My Religion" de R.E.M. y los gritos ásperos de Axl Rose en "November Rain" de Guns N' Roses.

Ese mismo año, la Guerra del Golfo acababa de terminar, con mucha gente pegada a sus televisores viendo la intensa cobertura en vivo. Mientras tanto, México, EE. UU. y Canadá se encontraban en las primeras etapas de las negociaciones del TLCAN, sentando las bases para una mayor cooperación comercial y económica. Pero no todo fueron malas noticias: en mayo de ese año, se hizo historia cuando una reina de belleza mexicana fue coronada Miss Universo por primera vez.

Still, one place to go.

Eventualmente, mi hermano se recuperó y se unió al gimnasio, donde descubrió a Arnold Schwarzenegger (como fisicoculturista), convirtiéndolo en su nuevo ídolo. Luego de estar estable por varios años y graduarse en Economía en el 2000, se independizó de mis papás. Luego, sin embargo, entró en un episodio maníaco mientras trabajaba en su primer trabajo, lo que requirió una hospitalización inmediata. Desconocido para nosotros, esta condición se denominó maniacodepresiva y, a principios de la década de 2000, mi hermano finalmente fue diagnosticado con trastorno bipolar de tipo I.

A pesar de esto, obtuvo un MBA y luego se convirtió en entrenador personal, obteniendo una licenciatura en Educación Física en 2017. Con el tiempo, mi hermano reconoció que tenía un trastorno, pero pensó que podría combatirlo sin medicamentos, lo cual estaba erróneo. Unos meses después de la muerte de mi mamá, él desarrolló una depresión profunda y, de repente, en abril de 2018, entró en un episodio maníaco. Sin embargo, esta vez desarrolló psicosis, lo que resultó en una desagradable paliza por parte de personas en la calle y una desaparición de cinco días. Gracias al boletín de personas desaparecidas en Facebook, tuvimos la suerte de encontrarlo y traerlo de vuelta a la realidad.

El trastorno bipolar generalmente surge en la adolescencia tardía o en la edad adulta temprana, con síntomas que varían a lo largo de los años, lo que requiere apoyo familiar constante, terapia y un plan de tratamiento prescrito de por vida para mejorar la calidad de vida y controlar los síntomas. Sin embargo, el trastorno es degenerativo y finalmente ataca las capacidades cognitivas del paciente.

Desde la década de los 90s, la música de The Doors, junto con el trastorno bipolar de mi hermano, ha estado constantemente en mi vida, y en 2022, mientras hacía un álbum de recortes del intento de suicidio de mi hermano de hace 32 años, comencé a leer la historia de la banda, solo para descubrir que vivimos a 10 km. de donde comenzó todo. Esto indujo una “búsqueda” para encontrar a James, que involucró usar la cámara Yashica FX-1 de la década de los 70s de mi papá usando principalmente filme en blanco y negro de 35mm.

Las fotos y el texto que se presentan aquí son un vistazo a “Buscando a James", que, al mismo tiempo, representa un intento de comprender cosas de las que no era consciente cuando tenía ocho años y mi hermano tenía quince.

Terminaré esto con un extracto de la revista Rolling Stone del 4 de abril de 1991:

"El cantante principal de The Doors, que solo dos años antes había sido uno de los héroes más inteligentes, aterradores y sexys del rock, ahora era un alcohólico desgarrador y un idiota payaso. Necesitaba ayuda; no merecía una veneración barata, y ciertamente no merecía el tipo horrible y moralista de castigo en la cárcel que el estado de Florida esperaba imponerle. Por supuesto, Morrison nunca recibió, o al menos nunca aceptó, la ayuda que podría haberlo salvado".

Este ensayo fotográfico está dedicado a mi hermano Roberto y su vida desafiante pero gratificante.

...Días extraños nos han encontrado
Días extraños nos han rastreado
van a destruir
Nuestras alegrías casuales
seguiremos tocando
O encontraremos una nueva ciudad...

...Strange days have found us
Strange days have tracked us down
They're going to destroy 
Our casual joys
We shall go on playing 
Or find a new town...

__________________________________________________________________________________

BIOGRAFÍA

Gabriel Tellez es ingeniero de software y fotógrafo atraído por la arquitectura, la ingeniería y la historia. Gabriel, su esposa y un niño residen en Playa del Rey, CA.

Instagram: @gabtyz / Sitio web: koken.gabrieltellez.mx

“Rio de Los Angeles”

“Rio de Los Angeles” | By Gabriel Tellez

Even though “El Rio De Nuestra Señora La Reina De Los Angeles De Porciuncula” it’s one of Los Angeles’ most under-appreciated resources, the L.A. River has been a handy location for the Hollywood film industry. With its urban wasteland appearance and flat concrete riverbed, it’s been an ideal location for shooting; think about those car chases through the river in Grease, Terminator 2, Gone in 60 Seconds, The Dark Knight Rises, and The Italian Job (remake). In addition, the views of the L.A. downtown skyline and the urban, industrial feel have given films the cool minimalist look they need.

Twelve historic bridges designed in the art deco style over the river have been registered on the National Register of Historic Places. Their construction speeded the development of the residential area east of the river by providing streetcar transportation and an elevated automobile roadway over the river & the tracks of the Southern Pacific railroad.

The Los Angeles River runs for approximately 51 miles, of which about 70% has a concrete bed, and passes through 17 cities. The river -primarily fed by rainwater, snowmelt, and treated water- was channelized by the Army Corps of Engineers in the early 20th century after a series of devastating floods.

Along the river, there are only 3 locations (the Sepulveda Basin, the Glendale Narrows, and the Long Beach Estuary) with no concrete at the bottom, where nature grows freely and provides food and habitat for approximately 1,200 species of animals.

But like everything, there’s a downside; the L.A. River faces significant challenges, like pollution (mainly plastic waste and industrial discharge), the lack of wetlands since it was channelized, and an increasing homeless population along its banks & its islets, to mention a few. Luckily, there’s always hope, and residents, non-profit organizations, and local governments have been working together to alleviate some of these problems.

For the past 31 years, FoLAR (“Friends of the L.A. River”) has been conducting summer cleanups of the L.A. River, and this year only, approximately 2,000 volunteers picked up a total of 18 tons of trash at 11 sites. Of course, cleanups alone may not solve the plastic or waste problem. Still, they can increase awareness, change people’s behavior, and help future generations – participation in those cleanups is an eye-opening experience.

Another promising initiative -where participation among the community is critical- is the 2020 revision of the original 1996’s L.A. River Master Plan. Its purpose is to optimize & enhance the river to make it more accessible to the social, cultural, and ecological communities while enriching the quality of life for residents and recognizing the river’s primary purpose for flood control.

Who better than someone growing up on the banks of the Mississippi River like Robert Crais to describe in The Last Detective, the river: “The Los Angeles River is small, but mean. People who don’t know the truth of it make fun of our river; all they see is a tortured trickle that snakes along a concrete gutter like some junkie’s vein. They don’t know that we put the river in concrete to save ourselves; they don’t know that the river is small because it’s sleeping and that every year and sometimes more it wakes.”

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BIO

Gabriel Tellez is a software engineer and an amateur photographer drawn to architecture and engineering. Lately, he has been documenting the diversity of the Los Angeles River, including nature, architecture, engineering, and its current challenges. Gabriel, his wife, and one boy reside in Playa del Rey, CA.

Instagram: @gabtyz / Website: koken.gabrieltellez.mx

Photo Essay edited by Alejandra Martínez Moreno

Initially published in Burn Magazine in September 2021